Pie Eating Contest

Ryan's Video: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1iUCQqGMzgXNS0SIUGGPuln9zubdjIqLn/view?usp=sharing

How to protect your burner accounts ...

The burner account has been a problem that has plagued the NBA since the early days of Kevin Durant, the Burner account. Now it claimed another snake, and hopefully  it leads to NBA Savior Sam Hinkie returning on the 3rd year to lead the 6ers to not 1, not 2, not 3 but 8 nba championships. (Mike Zarren would be a fair secondary prize just no more BC) That's not what this is about through. Today we look at how to protect your burner accounts. We all have them so here is how you don't find yourself in the next version of woodergate. 

1. Remove all your follows that are unique to you. 

The pizza place down the street yeah, don't follow that with your burner account. That is a main account follow. Even worse is people, your Father business partner who only has 6 people following him, don't be the 7, 8th and 9th.

It is okay to follow your main account if you have one unless no one else follows it, definitely do not be the first. 

2. The first nonsugested follows should be popular and unrelated to the topic you are mainly interested in:

Now twitter gives you 10 suggested follows based on your interest, follow those and then follow some generic big brand accounts. After mixing in the larger accounts you can add in the ones that are on the topic that you are interested in following. This is done to increase the difficulty in reverse engineering the accounts purpose.

3. IF you speak a foreign language don't tweet in that language

Always use 1 language in the tweets by using more than 1 language in your tweets you are increasing the things that makes the account distinct and could narrow the focus on you when the heat starts to come down. Roger that means no icelandic rap on the burner account

4. Occasionally tweet good things about the person you are trying to bring down

Sometimes you have to find a new slant and to deflect some of the potential suspicion say something like well great job adding Ibaka, for a bag of balls, and if you have to stay loyal to your brand throw in how the top two guys are still holdovers. (and seemingly headcases like their old boss)

5. Don't react to silly jokes about yourself

If for some reason people are tweeting about the large collars your shirts have do not respond with they are completely normal sized. Lean into it no one that is not that person is going to defend a stranger on a subject that is not important at all. Example not even Rich defends Trump's skin color being orange.

6. Tweet about other subjects that no one would connect with you 

If Chris had a burner account that he was using he could tweet out something positive about analytics like how you have to go back to the 2008 Phillies to find a world series winner who's front office did not have a strong analytics department.  

7. Do not let a third party have control of the account.

It may be tempting to have a 3rd party react to comments while you are making a public appearance, instead keep things closer to you and have a automatic message set to go at that time. Letting more people knows is just more holes in a sinking ship

8. If you are married do not let your wife run a burner account

Steve this one is for you and seemingly the most important take away. It doesn't matter how much experience they have in the field and know not to disclose information on the burner accounts but they are emotion people you don't want her burn to burn you. 

Now you know how to operate in a post woodergate burner twitter world. 

June 23rd draft lottery BBQ

So I hope you could all make it to 102 heather drive for the BBQ and draft order lottery. Unfortunately, I know that some of you will not be able to make it because of travel reasons or what ever bad excuse you have. Well this message is for all you people. Part of the draft lottery will be a pie eating contest used in determining the draft order. So if you cannot make it to the party you do have some work you need to do in the next 20 days. 1 get a pie; 2 please provide measurements on the pie so we can adjust the time; 3 video tape yourself eating the pie while timing yourself; 4 send us the video and any explanation on why you picked that pie and if there should be a subtraction of time based on the pie you ate. Pie eating rules are simple no hands. Good luck everyone. Hope to see everyone on the 23rd.