on to the next shop

Last week, I was sitting in my office and my phone starts to cell phone starts to ring so of course being the diligent worker I pick up the call from a number i do not recognize. What to you know it is the ice cream shop, (Name not included because I do not want out anyone laundry mat) and the owner want to come in to talk about a job. I think to myself this could be fun, or at least interesting since Rich had supplied me with a list of suggestions for my work conditions. I had some simple conditions to working there; had to pick my hours, don't care what my pay is but I want reasonable unlimited ice cream (Milkshakes and water ice) while working, and i get to pick the channel on the TV. I also wanted to put beach house on my tip jar and have a "competition" with the other workers. I get there and walk in introduce myself and he says you do you actually want a here because that application was the strangest thing anyone has ever submitted here to try and get a job. Of course, I laugh a bit and tell him I want the job a nice evening gig to compliment my day job to get that vacation home sooner. He responds: "good, I actually need somebody that I can trust to close up the shop so I don't have to be here every night at midnight." Now we move behind the counter and he tells me to make medium in a cup. I already know the machine works at an ounce per second and they have the size charts to the right of the machine (one of stupid high schooler checks it every time a group orders more than 2 sizes at a time) so I've this one in the bag no problem. Medium is 6 ounces, put the cup on the scale and boom 6.2. Next test ice cream cone with sprinkles. Do the cone and take the spoon to sprinkle the sprinkles on. Mistake, cones are a dip and twist to get a better even spread. Give that a try and the ice cream fails off. Noooooooo, too wide a base need to do it skinner and taller. This correct cone looks ugly, not sure I like were this guy is leading me. He has me scoop some ice cream just show i have the arm strength to scoop the stuff. After this we go into the back to talk about the details. Start with compensation, he offers $10 an hour plus splitting tips with the people you work with. Fine, but I tell him I want to work with the 2 college blondes and the skinny brunette, not the high school guy. (Turns out the high schooler is his soon) He laughs says he can't make any guarantees on who I work with. Now here is the hiccup, guess you could say deal breaker. A requirement for the job is you have to work at least one weekday day shift, noon to 6. Well that was never going to happen. Tell him my other job not going to let me take time off to work at an ice cream shop it nights and weekends only. Says store rule everyone has to do a day shift or no one would ever do them. Tell him we at an impasse and thank you for the time and the ice cream. I got to eat my samples earlier. Walk out and regret that I never got to ask my other stupid request. So now I am considering my other options to waste away nights during the summer. It's either go to another store or get membership at a golf course. I am leaning to the second option, there is a public course 5 minutes from the office that's not bad and a decent transition to nicer private club.

Applying for a job at the ice cream shop

Here is the application I left at the ice cream shop across the street from me today. Let me know if you think I got the job.  I copied it in since I don't know what i am doing with this blog formatting yet. (Change some parts to protect identities of my references


Dear Brain Freeze Ice Cream shop owner,

Since my earliest days in undergrad when I first had access to the soft serve ice cream machine I had a simple but elusive dream. I have gone searching around the world, from the back woods of the Ozarks, the swamps of Louisiana, the empty space of Indiana, and the mountains and hot springs of Iceland searching for the elusive ice cream cone. Sitting in my ice cream less office I had the realization that in order to find that ice cream cone I would have to venture into the field of ice cream maker and perfect my craft.

Now I acknowledge that this application is from a different type of applicant but do not worry even through I have another career that pays a more than living wage, I too will be driven to work hard for tips. Instead of trying to use my tip money for paying for college my tips will go towards buying a nice beach house and some investment properties. (if this is a multi-year thing). Another bonus is because of my other career I have already gone through all the harassment workshops so I can skip that training, as well as confidentiality. I also promise not inform any of my coworkers of any of their legal rights since that would conflict with my day job.

I have ample experience eating ice cream and creating ice cream creations. Allow me to prefect my cone making skills. Also, I have a law degree, economics degree and experience handing money including claims in excess of over $100,000 so I can be trusted with handling money.

Below please find a list of references but if your going to actually call them call the last one first and then start at the top. As you can see the last one is significantly more qualified to testify to my ice cream skills and his time is worth significantly less.

References:
Captain Al Catalya (I used his real last name just don't want this to pop up as google result)
Former (Retired) CEO of Lordes Hospital, xxx-xxx-xxxx realized I probably shouldn't publish this information online.

Swiss Guard CUA professor (same here)
Former CFO of Dragon, speech to text company, founder of seven found, Swiss guard, professor at Catholic university,

Connor Dowd (yeah don't care about his google results)
profession not important but if you see him you know he knows his ice cream just like me.

Francis P. Brennan III

102 Heather Drive, Mount Laurel, New Jersey  08054

(856)-577-7511                                                                                         Frankiebre@gmail.com

 

Education:

    Rutgers Law School, Camden, NJ

Juris Doctor Degree, May 2017

GPA 3.640

Dean’s List

Pro Bono Award for Excellent Service

Business Law Certificate

Relevant Coursework: Antitrust A, Advanced Antitrust A-, Mergers & Acquisitions A                                                                Introduction to Income Tax A+ (wink wink) 

            Activities:       Rutgers Journal of Law and Public Policy, Staff Editor                   2015/16

                                    Submissions and Symposium Editor                           May 2016-May 2017

                                    VITA Pro Bono Project                                                         Student Leader

                                    Planning Estates Pro Bono Project

             

    The Catholic University of America, Washington, DC

            Bachelor of Arts in Economics, May 2014

            Minors:           Mathematics, Philosophy   

Honors:           Magna Cum Laude

                                    University Scholar

 Finalist for Business School Student of the year 2014

Activities:       Habitat for Humanity; Teacher’s assistant for Intro to Microeconomics, Business Ethics; Tutor for Intro Micro/Macroeconomics, Intro to Accounting; Intramural Flag Football x3 Champions, Softball, Basketball

Legal Experience

GEICO Staff Counsel 

Attorney                                                                                                            Nov 2017- present   

PIP arbitration and Bodily injury litigation 

Fair Share Housing Center

Legal Intern                                                                                     May 2016-August 2016

Draft and edit litigation documents, and review settlement offers in connection with enforcement of municipality’s affordable housing obligation

    Superior Court of New Jersey, Burlington Vicinage

Judicial Intern to the Honorable Ronald E. Bookbinder A.J.S.J.    June 2015-August 2015

            Draft preliminary opinions, and research memos  

Other Work Experience

            Custodial Engineer at Resurrection Catholic School,                          Summers 2012-2015

               

Association and Memberships

            Burlington County Bar Association

            Knights of Columbus Council Number 9542, events coordinator                 (2012-2014)

Special Skills

I know how to count 100 by 1s, 5s, 10s, and 25s in any combination, can describe all the ice cream and water ice flavors and offer pairings like it is wine and cuts of meat. 

   

I'll keep everyone posted on how my application goes.

BBQ updates and other fun stuff

Thanks for everyone taking the time to comment, who did comment on what works for them for the draft lottery BBQ. Based on Doug's comment and looking at the calendar and seeing the 17th is fathers day, the draft lottery BBQ will be on June 23rd.

The other thing I want to talk to you all about is having individual theme songs. I watch a lot of WWE because it is soap operas for men and not on during the day. I have ideas on what everyone song should be but it should be fun to hear what everyone else thinks represents the other members of the league in musical form. I really look forward to hearing everyone's ideas and seeing everyone on the 23rd.

Also maybe someday in the near future i will start doing a ranking of players and start some more fantasy centric content.

Draft BBQ

Last week was the NFL draft and hey what do you know the Bills screwed up again. Really Allen in the top 10. Ryan has a more accurate arm but the guy does have a cannon so maybe somebody teaches him how to hit a receiver in the numbers. (Doubtful). With the NFL draft in the rear-view and with me being to lazy to do a top 10 worst fantasy picks of all time; (Good news geico should be hiring a new paralegal soon so I may be able to blog during the workday again!)  and the nba draft lottery only 13 days away I would like to announce the first annual fantasy draft lottery BBQ at the Brennan residence June 16th starting whenever people show up and ending whenever people leave. (we can move it the 23rd if the 16th doesn't work for people.) I think by setting the draft order before draft weekend it will leave more time for other stuff at the draft and increase the amount of time people have to trade draft picks. Feel free to bring your significant others if you want, though fair warning determining the draft order might be a bit well let's just say interesting. I hope you can all make it and please if your bring a guest please let me know if they would grain and oats instead of real food. Let's say if you think it should be moved to the 23rd let me know by May 9th and leave a comment below.

Keep checking the blog for updates as I plan on writing an individual owner theme song post.