One last secret Santa post

I don’t feel as bad posting this super late considering this arrived well after Christmas, but need to do it before I eat all of these bears tonight. Great choice of gifts, an unhealthy amount of sugar to go with a dumb looking gnome for my dumb team. I plan to eat all five pounds of gummy bears tonight, likely will feel as sick as I usually do at the end of another disappointing redskins season. 

Side note, 5 weddings this year, two of them being international, prevents me from being able to afford wasting my money in Atlantic City with you all this year. That also means that I won’t be there to crown this year’s champ, and it also means the trophy spends a little extra time with its new gnomey friend under my bed.

Great gift and a great season

Happy Christmahanakwanzica 

This cold weather and heavy snow is making me especially appreciative of Richard's thoughtful secret Santa gift. A brand new Hawaiian shirt! I love the deep blue and wild floral pattern. Looking forward to adding this to my rotation come summer! 

On another note, each and everyone one of you (except Frank) should be absolutely disgusted with your performance this season. You sat idly by while my while the Wuerly birds, who began 1-4, went on a tear through the league and ended up making it all the way to championship! While at the same time claiming my seat in Winterfell as King of the North! While I may have fallen in the Championship, yet again, I can say this season was a success. It is all up hill from here. You all suck, except Frank. 

My Secret Santa Post

First and foremost, let me just say it is embarrassing how long it took me to figure out how to use this thing.  I still don’t see what was wrong with the Facebook group, but nevertheless here I am.

My Secret Santa must celebrate Orthodox Christmas because I got their gift extremely late!  At any rate, my Secret Santa, who I believe is also fat in real life, got me this wine opener! How thoughtful as wine has replaced beer as my go to drink.  Not because I’m a bitch, like Rich, but because I have evolved from a beer guzzling frat boy to a sophisticated wine drinking lawyer.  Just kidding, I am not sophisticated.

For the inaugural opening, I looked for Russian wine (this is Orthodox Christmas after all) however I could not find it.  Determined to find a wine from an Orthodox country my options were Armenia and Bulgaria.  I opted for Bulgaria because it was rated 92 points by Wine Spectator.  That’s I learned Wine Spectator is full of shit!  Merry Orthodox Christmas and happy Orthodox New Year! 

Secret Santa: Brendan

I received my Secret Santa on Wednesday, but had a lot going on to post to the group. Well it is finally the weekend and with a bye week for my NFL Team, I have some time to post. My Secret Santa came through with some great Celtics swag. I was in need of some new Celtics apparel as they make another run for the NBA Finals this year. They may have had a slow start, but after another win last night things appear to be taking a turn in the new year. So thank you for the Celtics shirt and sweatshirt, I expect to be wearing them in June to celebrate.

Pancharros is equal to Dan's season

Went to Pacharros today for lunch. It was actually the first time I been to one but I knew it was like a Qdoba. There is a basic expectation that you have about the food when you walk into on of these restaurants. Most of them are essentially the same, well except Moe's gives you free chips with everything, like a lot of chips more than I think I would ever reasonable eat in one sitting and everyone else makes you pay for chips. In a way these restaurants are like fantasy football. You know when the season starts there are going to be certain moments that happen ever year, the close loses because you played the wrong guy, the close win when a guy scores 3 TDs. Your fantasy kicker hitting a 20 point game. That pick you feel extremely confident about at the draft. These moments are like the rice and beans at these places. For the full metaphor your top pick would probably be the meat and making moves in season, either trading or picking guys up the guac. Now like fantasy football you can seemingly make all the right decisions and even not cheap out and pay extra for guac (trading a 4 and 9th for RB mid season) and still end up with something just does not taste right because you started completely wrong by walking into Pancharros instead of Qdoba, or Moe's or Chipotle.

Dan's season was Pancharros, it had so must promise and there was basic assumption of what the experience would look like. That assumption that he would not be the worst team two years in a row was correct but he gave it a run for it at the end of the season. Throughout the year I said Alex had a bipolar season based on the fact Tyreke Hill and Cam either had great weeks or bad weeks, no consistency. Well Dan's team was similar except he would normally score either in the high 60s or low 70s or 95-115 points. The 80-95 range did not existed for Dan. The roller coaster of season with injuries left and right had him tied for the division lead though late in the season. Seeing that Dalvin Cook was likely to never actually play a whole game without and injury and that Frank Gore is actually a fossil, he made the trade to acquire James Connors, at the time the number 2 back in fantasy. Unfortunately for Dan Connors was about to twist an ankle and not play much the rest of the season, but hey that was a really good move you made there. Sensing opportunity and a surplus of receivers he moved Diggs to acquire Jack Doyle, Andrew Luck's favorite TE. Looking at the season Ebron was having and the fact Doyle out targeted Ebron in the two weeks since Dolye's return from injury this looked filling the one gap that remained in his roster. Doyle would suffer a season ending injury a few weeks after the trade. 

Despite all this Dan went into the last week of the regular season with a chance to make the playoffs if he could pull off a victory over division rival Ryan Sanford  and he fell flat on his face. Playoffs on the line and he did absolutely. Odell ran his mouth that week about how the giants were going to play spoiler for some team well they spoiled Dan's fantasy season as OBJ had a perfectly average 14 point game when Dan needed a supernova of a game.

The Raffle playoffs was a disaster for Dan as both OBJ and Connors refused to play week after week with injuries and the question was would Dan ever score over 70 points again. Well fortunately for Dan he was able to pick up Jamal Williams, who had a huge week in week 16 that propelled Dan to the victory over Alex .

I think the lesson learned today is Pancharros bad and makes me sick thinking about kind of like the injury luck Dan had this season

What a great season aka I won the championship

I guess congratulations to Connor Dowd for coming in second place. This was the third time Connor came in 2nd place more times than any other member of the league. I am sure Connor thought his luck was changing and that things would finally do his way. I mean he is a stable relationship with a seemingly sane individual and he is moving on from a job with little prospects to a potential career that would allow him to shop some where else other than dollar general. He also had a pretty decent fantasy roster despite making the 2nd stupidest league trade and 3rd worse trade in the history of the world maybe behind Manhattan for some small pox blankets and the well the trade Roger makes every year, but we need to grade everyone on a curve right. Connor was able to overcome his stupidity but it was still not enough to get him over the hump.

Unfortunately for Connor on the Date of Louie's wedding I made him a promise after showing Molly and him the ring I was wearing and that promise was simple, you are not winning one of these. Why Connor, because at the moment of your victory you will always remember that you are at your very core a failure who does not deserve the happiness that you are given in the world. Don't worry Connor you will always have your friends to ripe that happiness away from you!

Now to the winner of the League this year, go Frank! Wait that is me, the proper order was restored as I picked up my 4th title. It was great title run on my part. Well it was mainly luck after the ability to recognize what players are going to have an abundance amount of opportunity. That and lots of luck what got me to this point because even when you have the best team there is one bad week with a couple turned ankles can ruin your season. It was a lot of fun and it was great to win as the 3rd best team even though I finished with the best regular season record. Brendan and Rich both had far superior teams that were done in by injuries to key players down the stretch.

I look forward to getting the trophy back from Steve. I know exactly where it is going to go in my office.

I am going to do seasons in review for each person over the next couple weeks. Alex already has his. Dan is next.

See everyone in Atlantic City on January 26th. well the 25th for everyone that wants to play board games! Happy New Year!