Santa is Orthodox?

Well my secret Santa arrived and I was surprised to see the note of a Merry Orthodox Christmas. I was puzzled at first not knowing what the difference in Christmas celebrations would be from our Christian brothers and sisters to the east. And while I pondered this, I realized there is no difference say for the chanting and cool hats. These are beautiful things we should adopt, except for parties. Common nothing says a good time like Ancient Greek and awesome poofy hats! Anyway I digress. The secret Santa knows me quite well and understands the three great loves of my life: tobacco, expensive alcohol, horse betting, and women. Ok that’s four. But considering that at least one of the hose cannot be sent via package (unless it comes from the Ukraine with poked holes for breathing) he decided to send me these fine cigars which I will enjoy thoroughly. May god bless this orthodox Santa!! And may I enjoy these beautiful cancer sticks with class, grace, and in a velvet smoking jacket. Merry Christmas.

Santa is a sixers fan, I knew it!

Once again the secret Santa came through with an awesome gift. The Sixers sign will be a perfect addition to either my room or office. If it makes it's way to the office it can replace the Dario (Fultz, Embiid and Simmons are on it too) poster as the only thing on the wall. It think it will probably end up in my room as it is way to nice to risk leaving behind if a quick exit is needed. The eagles towel fills a major need on my golf bag as well. I can attach it and finally have something to dry may hands with during a round.

Going to test the luck of the sixers sign tonight as it gets TV room placement next to the sixers gnome as the sixers take on the jazz.

Thank you!

Alex is the big loser, Connor has an uphill battle

Alright so I should start with the most important part first. The big loser this year is Alex. Poor, Alex had a lineup that was a bit bipolar this year in that some weeks it was the best in the league in others it just couldn't perform adequately. The performance issue struck bad in the consolation tournament as he failed to break 80 in any of the last three weeks. Now he has earned the prized named after his best friend from CUA. Adding insult to injury this year a new punishment was agreed to be added to buying drinks for either AC or the draft. This year at the draft Alex will serve as the waiter for the rest of the members present, meaning anything during the draft another owner needs a drink they only have to tell Alex, and Alex will have to stop what he is doing and get the drink for that owner. He will not be able to make a pick while a drink order is outstanding. The only good news for Alex is that a person can only have as many drinks at one time as they can hold because we don't want to waste beer even if it means making Alex work. 

Now I want to highlight some of the turning points in Alex season that got him to this point.
Draft day round 1 selection drafts the falling Leveon Bell who said he would report by week 2. Spoiler alert he never showed up all season. Week 2. Alex was offered Jamal Williams and Josh Gordon for Bell and Greg Olsen with the option to reacquire Bell if he reports before week 10 for a 9th round pick and a 4th either week 11 or 12. Alex decided he was not interested in this deal and kept Bell for the whole season as he did nothing. Week 6 was the high water point for Alex as he scored 135 and was in first place in his division based on a deal he made with Mexican demons. The demons take their pound of flesh as half of his team hits the IR over the next few weeks. Instead of treating this players like a horse with a bad leg and sending them to the glue factory he would continue to roster them for several weeks. Over the next few weeks Connor would pass him for the division lead and his dinner snapchats would stop. Alex was clearing entering fantasy football depression. In the second week of the playoffs he lost to Roger Bacon, who had forgotten his password, and over the pass 4 weeks had no sizzle to the bacon. The defeat to Roger was the last straw as Alex essentially punted the final week of the season and letting Dan off the hook by starting 2 players who had been ruled out prior to kickoff and not picking up a replacement RB. Dan grabbed Jamal Williams who could have been Alex's if he accepted the trade earlier in the season. Williams had 23 points last week. Alex will have a lot of time to reflect on this season in shame for the stupid decisions he made. The season started off so promising, with no obvious bad picks like in years past but the day to day, well week to week roster management did him in.

Now in the first half of the championship I jumped out to a large lead over Connor 135-95. This 40 point lead should be enough but if the results from week 8 repeat themselves Connor would be the winner of the league and Alex's nightmare season would be complete. Connor has some options to weigh as one of his star RBs went down with a wrist injury and the Broncos shut him down for the season. The rest of his team though looks like they are ready to play for the final week to prove a few things. On the other side of the match-up my team is pretty much set unless they announce that a player is going to be out, in which case Lamar miller or Darren Sproles would likely fill the void. The other major aspect of the finals is that I will donate to charity $5 for every point I beat Connor by, at the current 40 point gap I would have to pay out $200 to the habit for humanity chapter of Dayton. Let's see how high I can take this donation, hopefully I can completely embarrass Connor again and get the donation up to over $300. 
It's been fun this year guys, see most of you in AC in a month and oh yeah, merry christmas and hope to see some more posts of gifts!

Today I received my very useful and thoughtful Secret Santa gift, a lovely bamboo cheeseboard. I’m already thinking of all the delicious varieties of God’s greatest gifts to this earth that will grace the face of my newest, and unsurprisingly not only, piece of cheese paraphernalia. Though I don’t believe my GP or cardiologist will be pleased, this cheeseboard will get much use as I slowly spend all my “hard earned” dollars at my local cheese shop. Yes, you read that right, in my elitist northeast town we have our own specialty cheese shop where one can easily drop hundreds of dollars at a time on cheese. God Bless America, and no place else! So Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to you all and to all your families!

https://www.forbes.com/sites/michaelpellmanrowland/2017/06/26/cheese-addiction/amp/

Secret Santa: Dan Edition

Another surprisingly thoughtful gift, I received the new Mumford and sons album. It is, however, on a fucking cassette, which is useless - except to hipsters, who drive boxy cars that they paid too much for from the late eighties and early nineties that still have tape decks. I, however, am a child of “upper middle class” parents and therefore inherited an early-aughts car which is from truly the worst era of automotive head units. Neither fully analog, nor competently digital it comes from the budding era of “infotainment” and is therefore infuriating. It has neither a tape deck nor a usb connection, it has only a CD player, a confusingly located aux port, and an old-style 32-pin Apple proprietary connection located in the glovebox that does not work with my iPod Classic. What, then, am I to do with this useless, nostalgia-fueled cash grab? Appreciate it, of course, because I am not an asshole who would disparage such a thoughtful gift that clearly came from the heart, truly did tug at my overly-nostalgic heartstrings,, and also came with a digital copy.

Secret Santa

I was pleasantly surprised with how nice my Secret Santa gift was. This was a great idea.

Funny story: since my parents are moving this weekend (took possession of their new house yesterday), my mother is shipping all of her Amazon shopping to my apartment. Expecting a secret santa gift from one of you jabronis, every time I've gotten a package for the last week that I didn't order myself, I've had to call her to see if it's safe to open. Once I saw the Barstool logo, I assumed it wasn't something she purchased. So there you go - classic Ryan story without a punch line.

It's championship time

Congrats to Connor for making the championship. He was able to hold off Brendan who team suffered injury after injury. Drew disappointed for Brendan as the Saints offense could not get much going and when they did he throw a pick on 2 point conversion play. Whoops. It also looked for a few minuted that Lutz might kick his way into the championship but that was not that the case.

The other match up was Steve verse myself. Steve roster of misfit running backs was not able to overcome the one guy he cut for a backup TE earlier this season. Yes Steve, cut Chris Carson so he could pick up an injury replacement for another player, thank you Steve.

Now the two week championship between Connor and myself begins.

I am trying to be more positive and had thought of a different ways to take this post but realized that is more for the end of the season after this week. But on that note I really want to wish you luck Connor, you have a solid team and this should be a good match up between the top two seeds.

There is only one thing that I want to point out about Connor's and it is how surprising that Cook is playing this well. Jared cook is the only guy in Oakland who seems to have any success. I would never have seen that one coming, especially since all the talk coming into the season was how the guy is only ever average. Top 5 this year.

Also I think I might start a new blog for the public consumption writing about all the movies I go see. I think it will be fun and I don't expect anyone to ever read it.


On the loser bracket Dan and Alex face off. The loser is the "proud" Raffle winner. Dan went from being a favorite to make the playoffs to being the favorite to winning the Raffle. Good luck guys, as you try to make your season a wasted year instead of a terrible year.

Good luck everyone that is still playing.

Rich has a bad bad week

Alright so I wasn't going to do a recap mainly because I need laser focus with my matchup this week against Steve.

Now Steve had a good week last week scoring over 115 points but did not break the 120 point mark. Now over 115 points is normally good for the win except not against Rich who coming into the week was averaging over 120 points per week. He set the league scoring record by 4 points a game in the regular season. He had scored over 130 more times than he scored under 100 this season well Rich scored a league low 65 points. There is a saying lucky at cards unlucky at love well, to be honest I have no idea what Rich is lucky at because it is not fantasy football and it's not love or cards. I think that Rich shows that fantasy football is a fickle mistress.

So that means I take on Steve this week, which means 5 of the 7 championships face off against each other. While on the other side of the bracket 4 of the 7 runner up finishes face off against each other. Connor and Brendan have both appeared and lost in the championship twice and lost. Full disclosure I am rooting for Brendan to win the championship this year, like I was last year. No one in the league deserves it more than Brendan and it is a shame that Ryan denied him that chance two years ago.

Let's go Brendan!

Playoff time

Good season everyone, it was a pleasure and when I started the season 0-2 and than 1-2-1 I never thought I would be in the position to be the number 1 seed this year. While I still think Rich is the team to beat it is nice personally that I am the first team to have the top regular season record two seasons in a row. Thank you Brendan for blowing in the last week for the 2nd season in a row. Also in the fun part of things there was a 3 way tie for one of the divisions at 5-8. Congrats Steve for winning that mess. 

On a more positive note for the 3rd year in a row Roger finished with the worst record in the regular season. Happy Birthday Roger, hopefully you don't change anything for next year's team. 

I think next year I am going to outsource this a bit more because to be honest it not as fun for me to write, possible because making fun of you all really just loops over the prior topics and I just don't have the motivation to be creative into creating interesting intros that I feel like no one ever reads. Well only half of you read.

Now for this week.

I have a bye so I am going to go to Kansas City to enjoy some BBQ and catch a Chiefs game at Arrowhead.

Connor also has a bye, I don't think he is traveling this weekend I could be wrong 

Brendan, who was so close to getting a bye takes on Chris who team is either going to do super well go packers or super bad also go packers. who knows how that coaching change is going to go. Brendan seems to be getting a bit healthier than he was last week so that could be a scarier team to face.

Steve and Rich play again this week. Steve looking for a big week from Barkley and Allen. Lucky for him the chargers take on the Bengals who don't play defense anymore. This could be trouble for Richie and the team that should roll, oh wait, I forgot he lost his second best player last week, oh well. 

The other important topic is Atlantic City. Plan is to stay at the new Hard Rock Casino, well because Brendan loves Hard Rock. So I want to know how many people are going to show up. Plan is Jan 26th  the weekend in between the conferance championship game and the superbowl. Anyone who watns can stay at my place on friday for another fun night of board games! Please let me know if i need to book 2 or 3 rooms . 

Thanks guys 

Week 12- showdown for the 1 seed

I am just going to skip to the important parts, someone at GEICO thought I should handle a $500,000 file that is arbing on Friday so I've been a bit busy and distracted at work. Truthfully, should have passed it to one of the more experinced PIP attorneys but hey no guts no glory right. 

Now basically all the playoff spots are locked up, except for two. Congrats to Brendan, Rich, Connor, as well as myself for making the playoffs. Connor is locked in to the two seed. No matter what he gets a bye to the second round. Doug gave a good fight but was lacking a major knockout punch. Alex had some very good weeks and some very bad weeks and will finish around .500 which seems about right for a team that is carried by home run hitter Tyreke Hill. 

As for the 1 seed that is up in the air still. Once again Brendan and I face off in the last week of the fantasy season to determine who goes into the playoffs as the one seed. Winner gets it, the loser goes down to the 6 seed probably. 

If there is a tie and Rich beats Steve I think Rich would be the one seed, so let's not tie Brendan.

Steve and Dan both have the ability to make the playoffs with a chance to win their division. Dan takes on Ryan while Steve faces off with Rich. 

If both win Steve probably makes the playoffs as Dan would have to outscore Steve by over 100 points. If one wins and the other loses clearly that person will win their division.

In the other division that is undecided Chris plays Matt, the winner gets in the loser gets to beat roger in the raffle tournament of losers, but maybe it should be changed to the Bacon because Roger is always in it.

Power rankings who might win the championship 

1. Rich-even though he won't have the best record he has scored over 100 in every week but 1 and if he continues on his pace will blow the record for points in a season out of the water. 

2. Brendan- Got unlucky last year, and the year before that so Karma might be in his favor this year, even if people would prefer it comes in something other than fantasy.

3. Frank- actually I have no chance everything has been breaking right for me the past few months so something has to go wrong.

4. Connor- If Dallas offense has a normal week, Connor will in trouble, so odds are Cooper will forget how to catch the ball one more time this year. 

5. Dan- Gut feeling Dan beats Ryan, Steve loses to rich that why I put Dan here

6. Matt- you know who do the packers play this week, that could be the deciding factor

7. Chris- on if these two teams flip spots 

8. Steve- only because I think he has the worst chance to make the playoffs

Losers 

9. Doug- just average again this year 

10. Alex- don't worry at least Roger sucks again

11. Ryan- yes you made Connor make a stupid trade but then the pick sucked but you know that

12. Roger-hopefully you find tour password

Fun Power rankings - no sports edition 

N64 games off the top of my head 

12. Mario Party- yeah these characters make the list a lot

11. Mario Kart- better than Double Dash probably not but a good game and the 2nd best mario kart 

10. Legend of Zelda Majora's Mask- if you didn't have nightmares of skull kid and them moon crashing down you did 6th grade wrong 

9. Super Mario 64- actually this game was kinda annoying, would never replay it.

8.Pokemon Stadium - like the game boy game but better pictures 

7. Pokemon Snap- i don't know why i liked this game 

6.  DK 64- you know they loved just to put 64 on game names

5. Donald Duck Gone Quackers- okay was this game good probably not but I love donald  and spent almost as much time playing this as sonic or nba 2k. 

4. Pokemon Stadium 2- all the good stuff of the first with better mini games 

3. Super Smash Bros- The later games are better but it is a great concept and still occasionally fun to play

2. Legend of Zelda Ocrina of Time- the best first entry in the 3D video game world 

1. 007 Golden Eye- Best multiplayer shooter game ever 

week 10 starting the stretch run of the regular season

yeah, I don't really feel like doing this this week so here are very lazy version, and just taking a look at possibilities for the playoffs

Currently the playoff teams are
1. Rich
2. Connor
3. Matt
4. Steve
5. Brendan
6. Frank

7. Alex
8. Doug
9. Chris
10. Dan
11. Ryan
12. Roger

The fun thing is that everyone is within a game of playoff spot wahoo. So here are the clinching situations for some of the teams this week:

Brendan and Rich clinch with a win or an Alex loss
Frank clinches with a win and an Alex loss and a Doug loss

The fun thing is that no one can be eliminated this week no matter the outcome.

Hmm power rankings, let me see not feeling it today. Maybe later.

Good luck everyone.

Week 9 Frank turns 27

As many of you know yesterday was my one year at GEICO, some people would say I deserve a medal, I think I deserved a promotion. I was sitting in my office thinking hmm, sitting here waiting for the boss to come in and say something about a promotion sounds a lot like punting so I decided to walk down to my bosses office and say it is my one year today and I am eligible for a promotion to attorney 1 (move up a pay grade) and I think I deserve it. Now my boss has been working in the job for three weeks and says he has to check to make sure but he will get on it. Now, I wasn't done yet before leaving the office I told him that currently at 1.04 of the grade pay scale and if I get the promotion I should stay at that level. An extra 4% raise more might seem like a small amount but when you are already paid a ridiculous amount of money for your level of experience it is a surprising decent amount. Wahoo for math. Today, boss comes in says he put in for the 90k but it is up to the bigger bosses to make the determine but the promotion and smaller raise should be in bag even if the don't approve staying at the same percentage of the band. Maybe the was a point in my life when I would not have walked into that office because I did not recognize when I was punting but now with my never punt mindset I walked in and got at least a decent raise, before some of the people who started slightly before me. As I said what 3 weeks ago, time to stop punting and the benefits have already started.

Now to the part that you guys actually want to read well half of you, the other half don't need to be reminded that there team sucked this week.

Where to start, guess the teams with an over .500 record who won should get top recap billing.

Rich survived a  off week from Todd Gurely, who only scored 15 points this week which really is like me complaining about my 5% raise in September because the Regional boss turned down the 6% raise. His victim this week was Chris who has lost the past two weeks moving him into a tie for his division with a record of 4-5.

The other big dog this year Brendan, also moved to 7-2 with his victory over Roger. Now it is interesting that Roger has the pickup of the year in James Connor who is the number 3 RB, which is probably the only thing that has kept him from being a one or winless team. Poor Brendan once again seems to be stuck behind another dominate team in his division.

Well to finish off the top 3 teams by record I beat Steve 105-59. oh wait all these teams are all in the same division. Man I wish I was leading one of those divisions where everyone is under .500. Guess I can't have everything going in my favor.

Connor, the other team that is over .500 defeated Ryan, which is unfortunate because if Ryan won I could have clinched a playoff spot this week and Brendan and Rich would have clinched last week.  Connor outlook look good though because Bell while in Pittsburgh does not seem interested in playing.

Speaking of Leveon Bell, Alex was defeated by Matt who was backed by a 30 point game by Kamara and no support from his QB but when you can roster a guy who your uncle coached in little league, maybe you have to take the lack of production.

Doug was able to defeat Dan, or maybe better put Dan defeated Dan went to church and some of his play were last minute scratches so he got a couple zeros. It could be worst, it could have been a playoff game Dan and your still tied for your division lead with a 4-5 record. But since I play you this week, feel free to go to church and keep all the players on bye in this week.


One quick thing, even though it is my b-day writing this Connor b-day is also this week so happy birthday on the 10th Connor.


Now everyone's favorite thing power ranking of random things.
Birthday so has to be cakes that my aunt makes

12. Chocolate cake- Great second cake because it keeps people from eating the good cakes.
11. Almond pound cake- it's pretty good but doesn't have icing so that hurts it in the rankings
10. Red Velvet cake- uses the cream cheese icing, which is delicous so i approve to eating the spare icing;
9. Angel food cake- light so it almost not a dessert but a side to dinner
8. Apple Cake- she has only made this one once but it was good, since consistency is part of these arbitrary rating it can't make the top 5
7. Coconut sticky cake- I don't know how to describe it, the icing is super sticky and has coconut on top
6. Pound cake- varies icing to go above on top makes this fall just outside the top 5.
5. Butter cake- well i think it is time to get another slice of cake
Back, this is going to be a bit later than I expected
4. Spice cake - This one has a maple icing and I can't believe I am saying this it is almost too sweet, this cake is so rich though it limits you to one slice, or two with a big glass of milk
3. Sponge cake- I just like how moist and dense this cake is, though I have had it by other people and it can be really bad so I can't blame you for not liking it
2. Triple layer yellow buttercream- man these cake is good, it always, I think my aunt could make this one in her sleep
1. Carrot cake- Connor can comment about these one

Well that's my list of aunt's cakes, guess you guys can just comment your favorite type of cake or what cake you have for your birthday.

Good luck everyone.

Week 8: Halloween edition

Halloween 2018, well first of all I saw it in theaters and it was pretty solid for a that type of movie, (side note probably my last movie pass movie unless I walk into the wrong theater a couple times) I think it did an injustice to the original timeline by not including Halloween 2 in the timeline. It would have fit almost perfectly, details like having eyes are not important, plus Micheal is pure evil and immune to bullets. Now there are lot of bad decisions made in the Halloween movies post Halloween 2 but not going to get into that just yet especially since there is some fantasy football to discuss.

Now looking at the divisions you can see that all the teams that are over .500 are in the same division after 8 weeks. There are lot of .500 teams so there does not look to be a big sell-off leading to the trade deadline. I think it is safe to say the surprise tea, is lead by Mr. Bacon, though with Bell coming back at some point might hurt Connors production. Roger finds himself a game behind his division leader Chris.

Chris was defeated by Ty Montgomery who not only fumbled away the Packers chance for victory but Chris as well as Rodger TD on that drive would have won him the game. Frank continued his tradition of benching people who score 20 or more points but despite, my stupidity was able to pull of the victory.

Ryan was able to claw within a game of his division lead by defeating Steve 120- 76.  Wahoo, for Watkins and Boyd. Steve did not get a monster game from BArkley and like the Giants was unable to find victory this week. Now the Giants, come on please don't bench Eli, let him be the QB for the next 5 to 10 years. I think that is the only right thing to do.

Brendan was able to defeat Doug 117-89 and okay, I am watching Halloween 5 and I can't get over how dumb it is to kill Rachel off, makes no sense, we just saw her struggle through Halloween 4 has an easy out and the mother should have stayed dead. Actually, I don't think they ever show the body so it is only implied the attack killed her but she toughed out other attacks. Umm, yeah Doug is currently in last but like Mike he just keeps on coming and coming.

Connor knocked off Dan behind 28 points from Marlon Mack. Mack for Gordon seems to be a real steal for Mr. Dowd. If only he didn't trade away that top pick for 2 6ths, but I guess he had to end up on the right side of a trade sooner or later.

Rich had another dominating performance defeating Alex who abandoned his Mexican demon for a drunk Irish professor who can't remember what he had for breakfast. The good news is the Rams players might not play the last 3 weeks at this rate, the bad news is Rich has a deep enough bench that he might be able to survive that.


Now some more Halloween thoughts:
There is only one real risk when facing Micheal Myers and that is a surprise attack. The guy never runs, does not use projectiles and while he knows how to drive he never runs anyone over. It is all his hands. The best way to survive would be to simply find him and jog ahead 12-20 feet and then walk at the same pace keeping an eye on him so he can't turn off and surprise you when you lose sight of him. Now if he decides to run say this is not consistent with the movies, stop the filming, I only want to be in a movie that fits with the continuity.

Now growing up one of my favorite things to do on Halloween was to watch the Halloween movies on AMC, well I still do that but it has lead to many different thoughts about the movies and since I did the candy power rankings last year and Brendan hit us with the made up ones today I am going to rank the movies. (I was going to do costumes but that is just to broad and narrow since most women costumes are the same, except different color these days)

12. Halloween 3 season of the witch- No Micheal last place, simple as that. The movie wasn't even that suspensful, shame the mask went boom and killed half the kids.
11. Rob Zombie's Halloween 2- Now this movie is the only time my father has demanded we change the channel because the movie was unwatchable. To many flashing lights, stupid ghosts plot and horrible acting and poor choice of female lead.
10 Rob Zombie Halloween- See the above factors, I don't want my pure evil killers having a emotional backstory of abuse.
9. Halloween 6- Curse of MM- Now speaking of backstory that I do not need the whole cult of thorn stuff horrible addition to the story. No need, less backstory for your unstoppable killer the better.
8. Unmade sequel to the movie that just came out. Make that much movie in the first 3 weeks and you know a sequel is coming out and it is going to be better than the ones above this, hopefully.
7. H20- no not water but Halloween 20 years. I like the concept but it killed off the fun that is halloween 4 and 5 so it gets push done, boo recons, also I did not like the son in the movie.
6. Halloween Resurrection- yes it kills the ending of H20 which hurts H20 more than this movie but it is done with a tone that is obviously supposed to be more funny than thrilling but still the suspenseful like the other movies. IT gets a few laughs and is the easiest to fit in with any time line just say it was all fake the whole time everything was really stage.
5. Halloween 2- Solid sequel, I like that it wraps everything up pretty well, burn the unkillable monster since bullets do not work. Very enjoyable
4. Halloween 2018- Now it is a good movie but there some issues like killing off the attractive girl very early in the movie. I thought there was some very funny parts but I won't write about them since you all should see the movie, wahoo for AMC a list
3. Halloween 5 The revenge of MM- There are things to not like about this movie, they make some interesting decisions but I like the interplay between MM and Jamie Loyd. MM also gets some great action in this movie and shows why you never talk in strangers off the the street. Also the cops are really dumb, halloween 4 happened a year earlier and they did not find him the house at the beginning of the movie.
2. Halloween 4- I really like the part where they are in the cabin and they lock it down but he gets in and you turn the man around in the chair and he is dead, gets me every time. Then the fight on the house also great. 
1. Halloween- man, how can you not get a chill when you hear that music. I think it provides the best moments and the most oh gosh what is going to happen. For a movie made in the 70s definitey still watchable.

Week 7 recap

First my orginal plan for this week was to do awesome entrances for the power rankings and was going to put youtube clips in for a majority of them but the eagles (don't deserve a capital e after the fourth quarter) made so I don't want to do that one because it is to much fun. I am going to be honest the eagles game made me physically ill, almost to the point I could not enjoy the ribs from famous Dave's for dinner. Then during the Sunday night game watching the Bengals not play defense and Ryan close a gap was almost the last straw but as ever year since the introduction of the geometries bowl I beat Ryan and like ever other Monday for the past year I went into work with a big smile on my face thinking I can't believe GEICO continues to give me money every other week. So sitting in my office during a lull in the seemingly never ending phone calls, I though hey better mention the AC trip the week after the conference championship games. AS always people are welcome Friday night for board games at the Brennan's before going to AC on Saturday. Which lead me to really decide on the power rankings for this week, but all things in time first the Recap.

Ryan as stated above was defeated. I am sure if we search hard enough we can find something that Ryan has beaten me at but when it comes to the Geometries bowl, which is really all that matters, he just hasn't been able to get the job done. Better luck next year, well not really because I want to win again.

Rich does what he does and scored over 130 points again in his victory over Matt in the battle of the barely employed financial advisers.  Yes, Rich scored 138 with Michel getting hurt in the first quarter but don't worry Gurley and Hunt won't be super  human ever week, well Todd might. Oh yeah, he also had Michael Thomas on his bench so no one worry about Rich and the injury bug.

Connor was able to take down Chris 87 to 82. Connor rode Mitch hard and unlike the Bears did not come up a yard short. Chris's receivers played well, no one else did. Talking about Chris, this weekend we meet his new girlfriend Trixie (Tracey). Now Trixie seems to be a much cooler teacher that unlike Chris could murder her students when they get out of line. We all know Chris would get beat up by his students, unless the Packers just lost.


Alex went hard after Roger and the title of meme lord. Roger failed to respond. Any dignity Roger had is now gone and Alex owns him. Be careful Alex someone may try to do to you what you did to Roger, hopefully you will put up a fight.


Steve won but what I want to point out is Emmanuel Sanders is somehow the number 3 scoring WR in the league. How is that possible. I am completely baffled by how he has had such a great half a season.

Side note I am watching the sixers- Blake Griffen and point Griffen is a scary thing when he is hitting 3 after 3 like he is JJ Reddick,


Power Rankings
Cities I want to do 3 day weekends too
(let me know if you are interested in any and we will see what we can do) (potential and past draft locations removed)
12. Chicago- never been and I do like pizza, I hear the the hotdogs are good as well but I am not a fan of hotdogs so I'll stick to pizza
11. Charlotte- Maybe go see MJ at the hornets game, nah, I've heard it's lot of fun just like Durham
10. Fort Lauderdale- Have a friend going to dental school there so it would be fun to get warm in the winter.
9.   Myrtle Beach- great golf course nice weather, would be a fun trip, probably need a buddy for this one
8. Louisville- I hope they believe me when I say I have possible shoe deal for the basketball players
7. Phoenix- yes, this is so I can go beat up the Cardinal coaches for not using David Johnson correctly;
6. Milwaukee- not sure why but I was saying a lot of mean things about it and maybe I should give it a chance.
5. Ocean City Maryland- oh yeah this is 100% for the golfing, easier to get rounds here at a reasonable price than most other places that were under the consideration.
4. Austin- Great food, decent music, only problem it is in Texas
3. Boston- Brendan, want to get a place inside the city and cause some havoc, oh and get me from the airport...
2. Kansas City- Well I love BBQ and I've been to most of the other BBQ captials so got to give this one a chance
1. Denver- yep another friend location but it has a bit of everything so really excited to get this trip in.


The list is up for change but I trying not to repeat places I've been at least in 2019.

Good luck everyone.

Week 6 review

I have a confession to make I did not watch the Monday night game, instead I want to see Bad Times at El Royal and played a few rounds of Acquire, at a horrible place that does not have a TV. Now while playing I found that I was playing this passive game and of course not doing well on the score board. It felt almost like I was punting turn after turn. Fixed that problem and turned the game around but more importantly it made me think about the other areas of my life. I can think of one instance this weekend, not going to get into detail about the exact situation but in putting life into sports I was facing a 4 and 1 from the 45 yard line and I punted and really feel stupid about it. Got the ball, because as Chris says nothing really goes bad for me, but it at my own 2 yard line and going 98 yards instead of 45 to score is obviously much harder. My goal is better identify the areas that I am punting in life and essentially eliminate it like it should be in football.

I am not going to ask you to eliminate punting in your your life but if you are going to complain about teams punting on Sundays think about the areas where you are punting as well. Now to the recap.

Alex won 135-76  (Trust the process) Really I had no chance as Alex went down to Mexico in search if the Mexican demon that would unleash the true potential of his fantasy team. In exchange for the new powers of fantasy football all he needed to give up was give up some of his manhood, little did the demon know Elisabeth already took all of it from him. It's okay Alex, enjoy your win, I rather have the ability to drink a whiskey when I want to take a break from Shirley Temples.

Roger defeated Doug 101- 86. I keep on looking at Roger's score and I am not sure how he got to 101 even with 46 from two players. I don't have much to say about this one except that Roger is at real risk to losing his meme lord title to Alex. Alex has came at him twice and there has been no response at all from Roger. It is kinda embarrassing how Roger is letting Alex walk all over him.

Rich defeated Ryan  150-100. I am not going to say this is because Ryan called it a night so early on Saturday that karma came back to get him but I am sure going home at midnight did not help the situation. Rich did stay out and put out lots of good karma so that is why he was able to pull off the victory.

Brendan defeated Connor 82-73, bet if Molly set your lineup you would have won this week.

Dan was defeated by Matt instead of grabbing the division by the balls came back to earth a bit allowing Steve to hang around.

Talking about Steve he won in an impressive display of Saquan Barkley. Stud, shame he is going to waste the best years of his career with Eli. Maybe he found a spanish demon to do his bidding. Watch out Alex. The spirits of the Inquisition are very strong.

Power rankings
Now Chris has covered the themes of the weekend but I want to do my favorite moments of the wedding from my point of view. This only takes into account trying to find a parking spot up to the end of the reception. The after party does not count, either does Saturday or Sunday. If i did my favorite moments would be way to focused on those times and Lou and Emily deserve some focus, it was their night right.

12. Looking at my table seating and finding out I was at table 2 when all the cool kids where at table 12.
11. The moment when I realized what Louie had down with the table arrangements, well played Lou you won that round and thought it was funny and it set up so many great jokes.
10. The whole time looking for a parking spot and thinking I was going to be going to see Bad Times at El Royal so we could get a parking spot.
9. When the lady said you get three wishes the first time you go in a Cathedral, told you guys I didn't make that up.
8. The three rounds of shots with Shultz, Vinnie, and the people I don't know. Tequila was a strong choice but it worked out.
7. Shots with Alex and Ryan, why because it was only fun thing Alex did that Elisabeth did not look at him disproving afterwards.
6. Making the hangman noose, come on that was clever. I think it was perfect timing for Molly and Connor's conversation about the seating arrangements.
5. The BBQ was solid. Mission BBQ is good, those potatoes fantastic, brisket tasty, pork okay.
4. Shirley Temples from the Congo line, hey when you have a distinctive drink all you have to do is give the bartender the gesture from the other side of room and when you get over there it will be there.
3. Connor's reaction when I walked up and the bartender had a drink ready for me when I walked up without ordering.
2. All the stupid dancing I did, hey it's a wedding you are supposed to dance like nobody is watching even if you are as bad of dancer as I am.
1. Rich trying to get out of the parking spot. Seriously this was one of the funniest things I have ever seen.

Now you might think that there should be some more Louie and Emily stuff in the list but you know after the table thing all that stuff went away. Also be separated from you guys for the speeches ruined all the jokes I could make about them.

Next week I have planned a great idea for the power rankings

week 4 power rankings

alright here are the Freal milk shakes ranking. Just found out that they have a rotation, 1 seasonal flavor. My favorite is not on that list and guess what there are 12 flavors so I am leaving the delicious salted caramel out and ranking the currently available flavors. The 10 i had today and yesterday and the two I know I don't like.

12. Coffee-  okay, i don't like coffee, I don't drink it, it was never going to be high on my list.
11. Chocolate- yeah i know crazy frank does not like chocolate
10. Mint Chip- the mint is strong enough in this that you don't really taste the chip unless you hit a chip.
9. Cookies and cream- oddly the Oreo cookie in this is mostly cream and little cookie, maybe that way it always is but I was pleasently surprised.
8. Peanut butter cup- Lots of peanut butter, drove my dog crazy while i was drinking and not sharing.
7. Pina Colada- maybe if i did this list in the summer or this wasn't my 10th in two days it would be higher
6. Vanilla- I like a good vanilla shake as a nice pallet cleaner, this is a solid choice.
5. Mango- underrated water ice flavor, underrated milkshake flavor as well.
4. Strawberry- good flavor, no fruit chunks to ruin the flow, really refreshing
3. Strawberry Banana- Same as above except the banana flavor puts it over the top
2. Cotton Candy- Really sweet, understandable if you people lacking a sweet tooth don't like it
1. Cake batter- I think cake batter is my favorite cold stone flavor as well now, so no surprised that one i had for lunch yesterday that inspired this quest would come in first place.

Quick comments: Adding Caramel and pure Peanut butter would be solid additions, this was enjoyable testing of the products might do with some of the future food ones as well, like tastykake pies.

good luck everyone.

Week 4: The NBA preseason is here

First thank you Ryan for your recap last week. It was an excellent effort, but I am back and more embarrassed than ever. I can't believe I tied Doug. I was all ready to go on and do a recap that started with how I cannot seem to make the right decisions over the past couple of weeks and then Doug and I tied and ruined my soft opening to this recap so instead of that story I've got another one. Tomorrow, my new boss starts which I guess is fun and exciting right. So as the office has been going through the wilderness of having no managing attorney, which has lead to some uncertainty about who to complain to in the office.  Now my mindset in the office is rather simple, if the last check cleared, kept smiling and don't let anyone know you have no clue about what you are doing. I guess this attitude of smiling and laughing a lot has given off the idea that I am approachable and want to hear your complaints, because the paralegals and secretary that assist me, have decided instead of going to the veterans on the team, I am the one to go complain to about a problem.  Haven't even hit a year at and they are trying to get me to talk to the non-existing management about increasing their pay. While the smiling might work when I go to arbitration and keep the face looking young, bad in terms of not having people talk to you. Originally I had plan to tell a different story after stating the boss starting point but I went to dinner and forgot what I was going to type.

Now to the week that was.

It was an exciting week for Connor, several of his players scored more points this week than they had in the first three weeks combined. Leading the league in scoring he put up a monster 156 points which is 40% of his total points. Can Connor keep this new found magic up, probably not because 24 of those points were from Amri Cooper and 25 from Jared Cook and the Raiders are not going to score a ton this year do to David Carr not caring.

The other big scorer this week was Matt, putting up 151 points. Guess he learned about keeping Ridely on the bench as he produced another 2 td week. Great news for Brendan since this probably means teams will have to stop triple teaming Julio, 198 yep it has started to work. Steve was on the tough end of that defeat as Rivers only throws Tds to Gordon and Gates now, completly forgetting about his top WR Allen. (Yes there was the fluke two to Williams that allowed Ryan to steal a game).

Brendan dominated the bipolar team that Alex has going. One week they look the great, the next they score under 70 points  Week to week these guys are all over the place. Alex team is basically a bunch of Tyreek Hills super exciting when he is on, kinda bland when he can't get in space, but that means you have to keep an eye on him. Now Brendan probably has the steal of the draft in Melvin Gordon. The guy is not the best back in football but out of the average to good guys he gets the most opportunities. I really don't understand how he scores as often as he does.

Dan rode the Rams passing attack to victory against Roger. Oddly Jared Goff and Cooper Kupp would have outscored Roger this week. Though I think Roger is happy he broke 60 this week. The guy doesn't even have anyone to sell off to try and improve his draft position next year.

Doug played well, I made bad lineup decisions and I am really stupid. We tied, enough said.

Chris gave Ryan another loss. Don't worry Ryan I too got screwed over by another Fournette first quarter injury. Chris's RBs provided basically nothing but that is okay since Ryan's whole team didn't do anything on offense.

Rankings
1. Brendan
2. Dan
3. Rich
4. Matt
5. Steve
6. Frank
7. Doug
8. Chris
9. Alex
10. Connor
11. Ryan
12. Roger


Real power Rankings

Wawa Freal shakes flavors

In the middle of taste tasting all these. Can only do 6 in night so you will get the whole list tomorrow. Sorry my stomach is not as strong as it used to be.

AS always sorry but I don't have time to spell check this, well I am to lazy to spell check. Good luck everyone.

Week 3: Bills & Browns Win, Hell Freezes Over

The Commissioner has a busy week at work, so I was given the opportunity to provide a guest recap of the weekend’s matchups. I hope I don’t disappoint, but you’re stuck with me either way. Get ready for a fun-fact-filled review!

Week 3 Recap

Ky’s Beta Cucks vs. Mr. Coin

Starting out with my favorite matchup of the week. Ryan’s team of almost all sleepers woke up for a well-rounded performance against a tough Coin team. The Coin flipped wrong on a few players who had big days, such as the wild performance out of Atlanta’s new hot target WR (watch out, Julio). Ryan’s round one grad school apps are all in, so now he has lots of time to devote to fantasy football. If his team stays awake, he may be a force to reckon with. The Coin may need a new QB (just go out of bounds next time!), but its strong team should be able to carry it regardless of who it picks up.

Fear Boners vs. Dr. Glenn Talks Dirty to his Wife

Dan was his own worst enemy this week. If he had followed his normal draft strategy and gone all risky Bills picks, he might’ve pulled out a win. Also, if he had noticed that Dalvin Cook was ruled out for the week on Friday. The latter was the big difference maker in this matchup. Chris is also fortunate this isn’t an IDP league. We all know he would pick Clay Matthews with his first overall pick (or second, after Rodgers) and he would’ve been seriously boned by these absurd “QB protection” rules. Bunch of nonsense.

Sanford and Son Backup Kickers vs. Do Not Diddle Kids

Steve had an uncharacteristically poor performance, much like his quarterback did against a fearsome Bills team. (Seriously though – who saw that coming? Maybe they should have more players retire at halftime to give them some motivation.) Roger suffered from TB12’s comparably-bad week in Detroit, but this wasn’t really a factor since his team is about as deep as the kiddie pool around the corner from his house that he’s not allowed within 100 feet of. So he was unable to take advantage of the opportunity Steve presented.

Cuban Missile Crisis vs. McCarrick Molested Me

Both Alex and Doug decided to make other countries great again this week, but only one of them succeeded. Clearly Europe gave a greater performance – perhaps that’s an omen of the games set to take place in Mexico City this season. There was strong QB play on both sides, but Adrian Peterson (?) is the biggest difference maker here. Bold move by Doug pays off.

Wuerly touched My Willy vs. Troubled in Paradise

Frank had a strong performance from Christian McCaffrey, but that’s about all his team did this week. Incredibly, Connor had a more-mediocre week than Frank. He held out hope that Fitzmagic would put up the 36 points needed to make the week interesting, but miracles that big are hard to come by. Also working against Connor is the whole Le’Veon Bell situation: what are the current odds of him signing before the November deadline?
Side note: I like Frank’s name this week. I get that it’s a dig at Connor and Molly, but remember when we went to that restaurant at the Lake of the Ozarks called “Paradise” and my dad was giving me shit because you guys got him to say I was cheap? Yeah, and then Chris failed to get some phone numbers from the dock girls. Classic.

Nike Kneepads vs. Big Rich Swinginn

This was a barnburner, folks. And Mike Evans made it real interesting there in the end. These two are clearly the teams to beat, but Brendan’s superior performance lifted him off of his knee(pad)s and to the top spot in the rankings. You beat the top dog (and you’re #2), you get the top spot. Even if it’s by 1 point.

Week 3 Rankings

1. Brendan
2. Rich
3. Steve
4. Dan
5. Frank
6. Alex
7. Chris
8. Matt
9. Doug
10. Ryan
11. Roger
12. Connor



And now for the fun rankings. Frank told me I could do my own thing this week, but since you all appreciate his format so much, I decided to stick to a top 12 list of my own:

Ryan’s Top 12 Favorite Jewish Athletes

Honorable Mentions: Mose “The Rabbi of Swat” Solomon & Barney “The Yiddish Curver” Pelty

These guys have some amazing nicknames. I couldn’t not put them in the list.

12. Mitchell Schwartz

Schwartz plays for the Kansas City Chiefs. He’s not great, but he’s reliable. With 96 consecutive starts under his belt, he’s good enough to make the list. L'chaim!

11. Jerry Seinfeld

Not classically considered to be an athlete, but this video may change your mind.

10. Julian Edelman

Edelman has brought me much fantasy success and failure over the years. 2-time Super Bowl Champion, New England Patriot, and he went to Kent State (hey Connor – say hi to Mo for me).

9. Mike “SuperJew” Epstein

Solid first baseman for a bunch of different teams with a WS championship under his belt. Also a nickname that you definitely could not have today.

8. Paul Newman

Famous for acting, famous for driving. If you don’t think Le Mans is sports, then I’d like to see you try it. Something about “The Sting” being a great movie.

7. Bill Goldberg

After his short-lived NFL career, Goldberg went on to be one of the biggest stars in the WWE/WCW of the late ‘90s to the mid ‘00s. I never watched wrestling growing up, but this guy clearly had a successful career.

6. Mark Spitz

Dr. Glenn: How do they fill the Olympic swimming pool?
8 year old Ryan: With a hose?
Dr. Glenn: No, son. Mark Spitz!
Great Olympic champion swimmer who set 7 world records with 7 gold medals in 7 events at the 1972 Munich games, only to be topped by Michael Phelps in Beijing. USA!

5. Abe “The Little Hebrew” Attell

What a career this guy had! This 5’ 4” boxer reigned for 6 years as World Featherweight Champion from 1906-1912. He was also charged in the Black Sox Scandal, alleged to have been the messenger between the White Sox players and gangster Arnold Rothstein to arrange financial backing to fix the series. Hmmm… makes you wonder how many of those world championships he won because somebody took a dive.

4. Sanford "Sandy" Koufax

One of the best pitchers to ever play the game. Plain and simple.

3. Aly Raisman

Rich would be livid if I didn’t include her in this list. She’s got 3 Olympic gold medals and few other colored medals too.

2. David “Bend it like Beckham” Beckham

One of the most recognizable athletes in the world. He refers to himself as “half Jewish” on his mother’s side. In the eternal words of The Lonely island and Akon, “still counts!”

1. O.J. Simpson

Not a Jew

Week 2, the doom and dispair begins

I had the misfortune of watching a few plays of the Cardinals Rams game this Sunday. The Cardinals did not have a play on the Rams side of the field until the last drive of the game. Now the Giants barely did any better but honestly I know that game was going to suck and Hell in a Cell was on so I didn't waste my time watching Manning check down to Barkley 14 times but as Jack said that is a hall of fame QB, he does not need an O-line. Through two weeks I think it safe to say Eli needs people to block. Now the Cardinals line also sucks but where the Giants line is like Rich trying to block in flag football the Cardinals are more like Ryan. (Just check it down to DJ 14 times Sammy sleeves and I will be happy) Speaking of Ryan sucking, and honesty I have no idea how he did this but his QB scored 38 points and he lost to Roger. If you get 38 from one player you should probably break 100. The other 8 players combined for only 50 points. Yikes. As is traditions, I lost my first two games for the 3rd year in a row. I can't seem to win divisional games, damn you Brendan and Rich. Start drafting worst. Speaking of Rich he was able to pull of another impressive win, more than doubling up Doug. At least Doug was on vacation and did not have to witness the massacre first hand. Alex moved to 2-0 taking a two game lead on Connor, who he defeated. So at best Connor can only split the season series with Alex, and we all know Alex and cares about beating Connor, unless he is the all-whites. Chris was victorious but Rodgers is saying his knee may be getting worse so that is not good. Dan moved to 2-0 which is good because he has a good team but not a good bench so he needs to pick up the wins before the bye weeks start.

Hmm, now for the important part of the recap the all important power rankings

 TV Game (Price is right is DQed because Lou and Emily were on it)

12.  Press your luck/ Whammy- No whammy, big money, no whammy stop! You used to be able to watch the pattern and make it so you never hit a whammy but some dummy wrote in to the show so they made it random and ruined it for the smart people everywhere.

11. Deal or no Deal- this show was entertaining for like two seasons, but I played it enough on the computer to determine what I wanted to eat, i have food indecision, could also put let's make a deal here, basically the same show.

10. 21- on the game show network with Carlton hosting, you get to laugh at people who do not understand basic counting and probability. 

9. Dog eat Dog- combination of trivia and wipeout type challenges made this a must watch in the summer days in high school.

8. Double Dare- One of my child hood favorites, trivia, physical feats and slime, pretty good combo.

7. Legends of the Hidden temple- where you a sliver monkey, blue barracuda or a temple guard. The temple always seemed to have new twist and was basically impossible to escape, those temple guards are always getting in the way, surprising no one ever took a swing at one.

6. Wheel of fortune- if you where curious I am almost positive the wheel is rigged. IF people are winning to much money it makes them hit the bankrupt. If the million is in play the bankrupt is going to hit, and they will extend the show to make it happen.

5. Who wants to be a millionaire- when it first came out this show was so exciting, the wait for the first person to win was intense and then when he called his parents to say he was going to win, now that is amazing, TV moment.

4.  The hollywood squares- I don;t know if I liked this show or if it was because the game in school for reviewing for test was more fun, we played once in my 6th grade social sciences class (history) and for the American Revolution chapter where the class split into 3 teams, half the class on one team, half on the other and me on my own, it may have been because I talked how I could beat the whole class on my own and the teacher tried to teach me a lesson. Obviously it did not work.

3. Guts- the game of our childhood, who didn't want a chance to conquer the agrocraig

2. Family feud- So who wants to play the family feud.

1. Jeopardy- Come on, who didn't see this one being near the top if not the top, no real surprise, here.

Full disclosure I did the list off the top of my head so I may have missed your favorite show, if I did let me know in the comments.

Alright I have a movie to catch so here is my power rankings for the league, commentary may be in the comments after the movie if i do not fall asleep

1. Rich
2 Brendan
3. Dan
4. Frank
5. Steve
6. Matt
7. Alex
8. Chris
9. Connor
10. Roger
11. Doug
12. Ryan

Remember next week Ryan is going to guest write the recap, hopefully for his first one every he has some creativity.

Power Rankings

Because Steve asked here they are

1. Rich- Really if he wasn't the top there would be a problem
2. Steve- After winning the championship last year he gets the number two spot
3. Frank- David Johnson and McCaffery still form the top backfield in the league, right now
4. Brendan- Same day Julio will catch a TD pass
5. Matt- Fitzgerald is never going to age, and Kamara and Mixon are both solid backs
6. Dan- Might be the most evenly talented team in the league. No top dogs but no bottom feeders either.
7. Alex- Hill is going to win him a couple weeks and if history is a guide he only needs a few wins to win a few, unless Doug does well
8. Doug- Like Alex he has the advantage of playing in the consistently worst division in the league so a week one win over connor is huge, might only need 5 more wins this year to make the playoffs
9. Chris- Adams, hurt, Rodgers hurt but probably not missing any weeks, Jimmy Grahmn still inconsistent
10. Connor- 51 will probably not be the low point this year
11. Ryan-  Fournette hamstrings will never be healthy, it is decided.
12. Roger- Thomas and Hunt would look great on this team.

Worst movies I saw with movie pass this summer

12. Uncle Drew- there were no flat earth jokes, but Chris Webber was funny in it
11. The first Purge- No plot just killing, guess that should have been expected
10. Teen Titans go to the movies- lots of jokes but the waffle jokes were bad
9. Tag- The story was good but there some really over the line jokes that just took me out of the movie
8. Fallen Kingdom- Didn't like the other Chris Pratt Jurassic world so no surprise i did not like this one
7.Tomb Raiders- fun action, but almost a couple of Indiana Jones and the last crusade
6. Pacific Rim- yeah this one was so obvious that i felt like a 5 year old wrote it.
5. Truth or Dare- take that back this was the most obvious and predictable plot of any movie and really stupid characters
4.  Dog Shows- talking dogs is the only thing keeping it this high, the rules of the movie changed three times, don't watch to find out.
3. Gringo- Still not sure what the point of this movie was
2. The meg- should have watched sharknado 6 instead, don't know how they made a giant shark boring
1. Sorry to bother you- obviously I didn't get the point but i didn't find it funny at all, just plain strange

There you go steve

Season back so so are my terrible reviews

The season is back boys and with that comes fantasy football. All of us are excited as each season has some potential. Everyone, except Roger has a chance to win it all, guess Roger could win it all if we all either died, or got really drunk and made terrible roster moves. Odds of the 11 of us doing that are slim though. The rest of us through should be excited for the season. 

As I said at the draft this is the season of celebration since the Eagles won the superbowl it's all about positive thoughts, except when the games on still acceptable to boo, it's more a Tuesday to Thursday afternoon feeling. 

Now to the week one results. For what seems like the 4th year in a row the number 1 scorer week 1 is playing against me. This year Rich took his team of Roger's draft picks and scored a league high 136 points. He would have won anyway because Stafford looked like a rookie qb against a team that knew all the plays they were going to run. Maybe they should change the hand signs more often than once ever three years! Oh, well that's what you get for drafting with your heart instead of your head, though my final fantasy goal is to win two championships in two leagues with Stafford as my QB.

Now Brendan was the hard luck loser this week scoring 108 points in his lose to Steve. Steve looked like he was in trouble until Barkley took one 61 yards to the house. As good as Barkley looked the Giants are still going to feel dumb watching Darnold playing for the Jets for the next 15 years. Brendan got a lot from his top 3 players but the bottom of the roster really disappointed, including the only guy in the Chiefs Chargers game that did not score a touchdown or fantasy point, in Travis Kelce.  

Dan took down Ryan with a total team effort. It probably helped that Ryan's QB scored a quarter of this points. Unfortunately for Ryan, the chiefs have to play teams that have CBs and safeties, not just two defensive ends.  Now Dan's team looks real solid now that he got rid of the dead weight that were the Browns. Hyde can be replaced by Ingram so we can forgive him that one. 

Alex defeated Chris, as he got a huge game out of Tyreek hill, unfortunately for Alex through his top pick did not play and who knows when he will suit up for Pittsburgh. So I was watching the Browns game at dinner with my family on the TV at the restaurant I was eating at. Now when the Browns kicker missed the kick in OT, I started laughing so hard my Mom, had to tell me to stop. It might have been the hardest I have ever laughed. But hey the Browns still didn't win a game, so Alex don't cry to much thinking about the game. 

Doug was the lucky Dog with his win over Connor. Connor scored 51 points , is he being punished by a higher power for his name, probably not but maybe, good thing Alex and Roger are getting in on the names as well. It's impressive that Doug Bench outscored Connor and his starting lineup. Connor's bench had 10 points total. Wahoo, a bunch of players that scored 0 points. 

Roger in no surprise lost. In a major surprise he scored 86 points. Lucky for him Bell is sitting out and because he had no other RBs he got a huge week from Conner. If Bell comes back we could see Roger back in the 60s and 70s like his normal season.

Now I think the penalty this year for the Raffle should be you have to act as the waiter at the draft and get drinks when people need them at next year's draft on top of buying a case of beer for AC. 

Normally i do my power rankings but Always Sunny is coming on soon and I don't think you read them anyway.

No time to proof read, Sorry. 

Draft rankings

I was thinking the other day and the thought crossed my mind, what makes a good blog? When you think about it what really makes a blog great is click bait titles and slideshows. So i thought about it and I should probably do the draft ratings in 12 separate posts. Really get the page views up, right. Well, I am way to lazy to be a great blog writer, someone who wants to break in journalism could demonstrate some ambition and produce some fake news with slide shows. One other thing before I go into the rankings. Week 2 and week 3 I have an absurd amount of arbitration to go that week, (32 and 26) so it would be great if someone would volunteer to do a recap of the week for those two weeks. You can do your own thing with the style of the recap. Remember it is only 1 week for 2 people or 1 person for 2 weeks so you don't have to be super creative to pull it off. Since it was such a hassle to get someone to call Chris during the draft I have no doubt that no one will volunteer but I have hope that I am wrong.

Here are my rankings of teams after the draft, remember injuries happen every year so a great waiver wire pickups can save a roster.

12. Chris- The WR are good but I am not sure he has a RB that is going to start this year, Crowell might but does anyone expect the jets to be good. If Rodgers gets hurt this team could be on a one way track to the raffle.
11.  Dan- is the reason Dan's team rates so low because it has 4 current or ex bills players on it, yes. In terms on talent in the starting lineup it could be a top team but if Captain Kirk doesn't like the cold in the twin cities this roster could be in big trouble. Btw, I believe in Kirk, to at least not bust. Okay, it's really just picking Coleman.
10. Ryan- I hope this roster is better than what I am rating it as. The issue is Jeffery, the shoulder may keep him out a few weeks and with the lack of depth on this team those weeks he misses could be too much to overcome. I hope he plays though.
9. Roger- For not having his first two picks and wasting an early one on Tom Brady his team is surprisingly good. Penny and Mckinnon are both players that could have breakout years or you know have there jobs taken from them by week 4.
8. Steve- The defending champ had a solid draft except for trying to draft T. Hill twice after drafting him. Barkley, Collins and Drake all have a super high upside that could push this team up the season rankings if they live up to their potenitals, they also have low floors.
7. Connor- Just imagine if this team had Fournate on it instead of Ronald Jones, which is the trade Connor essentially made plus a second player on Ronald Jones level. Maybe Jones has a huge rookie year but it probably won't match a healthy Fournate.
6. Doug-Maybe I should rate Doug lower but I like Alex Smith in Washington, I actually thing he could have a very good season there. The key player is Henry if he is a stud this is a good team if he is not this is a run of the mill team.
5. Alex- I love how boom or bust this team could be Hill, Smith-Schuster and Newton are all players that could have great weeks. Bell and the very average Ajayi should give it a good floor to balance out the variance of the other three players.
4. Matt- Jimmy G could have a huge year, think Matt Ryan of two years ago. Kamara could establish himself as a true workhorse while Ingram is out. The worry is Green being brought down by the completely average Dalton, why is Lewis the guy leading the bengals on the sidelines again?
3. Brendan- Am i still made you stole Freeman right from under my nose, yes, yes I am, I also think that Robinson will bounce back in Chicago and Julio is Julio.
2. Frank-I am not going to compliment myself to much but super happy I got my favorite player Zach Ertz as well as Matt Stafford. The lions look like they added some talent on that line so this could be the year Stafford is the number 1 QB, okay I am dreaming a but to much with that.
1. Rich- Okay, Rich could have gone home after the first two rounds and he would have been the favorite but remember the year Roger had 5 first round picks and still didn't make the playoffs. I remember that too.

Thoughts or discussion post them below.

Trade Alert

Connor Dowd agrees to trade his natural first round pick (12 overall) to Ryan. In return, Connor acquires Ryan's 6th round pick in 2018 and 6th round pick in 2019.

Please see attached photos for more details.

Docs to help with the draft

Hey guys so I am putting some documents together to help make keeping track of the draft easier for me so I can upload the rosters.
The first one is just a page to fill out the rosters as picks are made. It might be easier to keep track of your team as well.
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1ymF4hDZDqrlCzvPqWnxOp9GlQ1yuxZ_n748b7QpQIuY/edit#gid=548506543.

I recommend printing it out and bringing it with you to the draft.

https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1NsNI-5U_zk-SVDdIP10qqYObixEHrPpZX7_o4gAidb8/edit?usp=sharing

This document is the draft order with the trades applied. The only thing that may be different is the 4 and 5th round for me and Connor I have not decided if I am going to exercise my option to swap picks or not. Some other things to note Ryan gives up the final first round pick of his championship winning trade with Connor when he acquired David Johnson. Rich has both Roger's first and second rounds making both Connor and Rich having 2 first round picks.

Good luck everyone. There will be more content up in a short period of time.

Also I am looking to trade the 2nd overall pick.

Alex's favorite position group TE

TE rankings
1. Zach Ertz- Did I put him number one just because he caught the game winning TD in the Superbowl, yes and there is nothing wrong with that.
2. Gronk- for all the none Eagles fans out there he should be the first TE off the board
3. Travis Kelece- Questions at QB makes him the most questionable of the top three but expect another solid year.
4. Evan Engram- yes he was only the number one option on the Gmen last year because every WR went down with injury but I have confidence in those some receivers to miss time again this year.
5. Delanie Walker- New offense for Mararito should open up the passing game which Walker figures to be a big part of.
6. Jimmy Graham- Could be a huge weapon for the Packers in the red zone, likely to be TD dependent.
7. Greg Olsen- bad break in his foot last year had him thinking about retirement, with the offense going through Mcaffery more and Newton struggles with throwing the ball I see a solid floor but not huge upside
8. Trey Burton- the guy who throw the Philly special could be a major target for Mitch, probably the largest range of outcomes in the position.
9. Kyle Rudolph- He is the average TE in football, when you draft him you know what you are getting.
10.Jack Doyle- if Andrew Luck plays ton of value here
11. David Njoku- the Browns have lots of talent on offense this year look for the 2nd year TE to get some looks near the goal line
12. Jordan Reed- If Reed could stay healthy he be a top 5 guy but he cannot so pick him and V Davis to get top 5 production
13. Tyler Eifert- the other top TE that can't stay healthy, might be worth a wild card but you odds are he will suffer another back injury
14. Cameron Brate- one of Winstons favorite targets but with Winston suspension he could find himself on the outside looking in as Howard is the higher upside play.
15. Charles Clay- TE are young QBs best friends right?
16. George Kittle- This guy is good but we do not give fantasy points for blocking but when he is catching passing he shows flashes on top 10 play.
17. Jared Cook-is actually not a good receiver and is over drafted every year so this year will be his breakout season.
18.Ben Watson- Teaming up with Brees should give him one last good season before he calls it quits.
19. O.J. Howard- If the Bucs cut Watson swap him and brate.
20. Austin Hooper- should have 20 catches on the year since Freemen, Sanu and Julio should be get all of the targets for the Falcons, but no one hates Julio more than Matt Ryan.
21.Eric Ebron- That pick is for Rich and with the rest of the position nothing special or young and unestablished yet at least he can catch the ball.

Some guys to keep an eye on in camp
Ricky Seals Jones
Rico Gathers
Dallas Goedert
Jake Butt

RB ratings

I just want to say that we go more than 30 deep  so you are going to need more than just my rankings for the draft. You probably need to go at least 60 deep in RBs and WRs.
So here are the RBs ratings. Full disclosure I did this list first and at GEICO so most of it was done off the top of my head and I have been really lazy and busy watching some bad lacrosse videos, Roger, I'll get notes on that in a bit, my computer was in the shop so I haven't gotten to the state championship game which should provide better notes.

Now actually the RB rankings, no more side stories or excuses.

1. Gurely-he got that money so there might be a chance he takes things easy thanks to the new deal.
2. Bell- Didn't get his money and might sit out a few games, or season but if he plays he should be at the top of the list.
3. Barkely- look at all the weapons the gman have teams will not be to stack the box so he should have a great season unless Eli has complete meltdown. (Rich should definitely take him number 1)
4. Elliot- Zeke might not be the best person in the world but the cowboys really don't have many other options on offense now do they?
5. Kamara- Brees is getting older but he should put up big numbers in a crowded offense thanks to his ability to do a bit of everything.
6. McCoy- I think shady has at least one good season in his legs, as long as he doesn't get suspended.
7. Fournette- spell check always optional but Bortles still is Blake so the Jags are definitely going to run the ball a lot again, especially since Robinson is gone.
8. D. Johnson- knee injuries are killers, never really know how a RB is going to bounce back from one so he is in the second to 3rd level of the RB 1 pyramid.
9. Hunt- you know that KC team is going to pushing the ball down opening up bunch of holes in the line, but you know Andy doesn't like to run the ball.
10. Gordon- I think the Chargers are going to be awesome on offense this year, why I don't know but the Broncos might be tanking and the best way to do that is to suck on defense.
11. Freeman- Falcons players on offense never seem to perform the way they should except for first couple year Julio and Roddy White.
12. Howard- Mitch is either going to make or break the bears this year. Howard shouldn't be impacted either way.
13. Cook- see Johnson and knee injuries
14. McCaffrey- no more Steward, only issue is Cam loves to rush in the goal line TDs
15. Mckinnon- the 49ers and Jimmy G are the ultimate make or break team. Lukewarm on them.
16. Joe Mixon- bad year one but he should rebound
17. Mark Ingram- Maybe the Saints run him to the ground or they don't play him at all, i think the saints hate him.
18. Drake- I think there is injury concerns but I am not really looking into it. Did I mention the Eagles won the super bowl so this might be my best year of all time.
19. Ajayi- pretty sure he does not have any cartilage in his knees anymore, ticking time bomb. 
20. Guice- Redskins are solid on the line and Smith is good QB, who knows if he is going to start.
21. Henry- it a real shame that Demarco retired but it does give him some chance in the titans offense that is revamped.
22. Coleman- Freeman and his concussion issues should give coleman achance at some point
23. Miller- Houston should be an interesting offense Miller does not really have much left in the tank.
24. Perry- seahawks are a good offense that might run the ball or they might just have Wilson throw a lot because they still don't bother to block.
25. Micheal- talent plus opportunity equals fantasy goldmine
26. Ronald Jones- yeah, I am just going to list the last four off
27. Donta Foreman
28. Jamel Williams
29. Thompson
30. Lynch
31. Jones
32. Blount- the lions can never run the ball so yeah.

That's the list as always would love to hear what you think

WR Rankings

Here are my rankings for WR no comment with each player because the QB rankings got no response from you all. As always correct spelling optional

1. A. Brown

2. D. Hopkins 

3. OBJ

4. K. Allen

5. Micheal Thomas

6. Julio Jones

7. M. Evans

8. AJ Green

9. Alson Jeffery 

10. D. Adams 

11. T Hill

12. A. Thielen

13. S. Diggs 

14. TY Hilton

15. L. Fitgerald 

16. A. Cooper

17. Josh Gordon- no way he doesn't smoke again before the season starts and gets suspended again

18. D. Thomas

19. Ju-Ju Smith Schuster 

20. Cooks 

21. D. Baldwin 

22. A. Robinson

23. M. Jones 

24. G Tate

25. S. Watkins 

26. R. Cobb

27. J. Landry 

28. Will Fuller

29. M. Goodwin

30. R. Woods 

Thoughts or comments. Also Izombie pretty decent tv show. 

Quarterback Rankings

Hello everyone, I wanted to remind everyone that the Philadelphia Eagles won the Superbowl and in continued celebration I am going to share with all of you my personal rankings of players this year before taking into account scheduling. I also did most of it by memory taking a quick look at rosters. Remember these rankings drafted the team that one the championship and lost in the championship. So without further ado here are my QB rankings.

1. Big Dick Nick Foles- okay that is just a joke Nick is only the number 1 QB in the playoffs.

1. Mr. Rodgers- I just fell like this year the guy avoids injury to and puts up huge numbers to say pay me the money.
2. Old man Tom Brady- Here's the deal do I think Tom is going to have the best season no but odds are he puts up a top 5 season.
3.  Russel Wilson- offensive line cannot block for the run game so the offense is going to be Wilson trowing the ball and hoping to not get sacked.
4. Deshuan Watson
5. Carson Wentz- Both of these guys coming off major knee injuries and if they recover properly they could both be real threats to be the top guy
6. Big Ben- with Bell maybe going to sit out the season, just throw the ball to Brown and Smith Schuster
7. Kirk Cousins- spreads the ball around and the players are talented enough to make plays for him.
8. Drew Brees - the deep ball has been getting worse over the past couple years but he is a stud at home the road is a issue
9. Philip Rivers- yeah, the guy has had one injury in his career so probably going to play 16 games and end up in the top 10 qbs based on the amount of games played
10. Andrew Luck- who knows maybe he plays week one, maybe he does not play at all
11. Matt Stafford- okay, i probably just rated him this high because I really liked playing as him on Madden.
12. Jimmy G- guy put up states in the last few games of the season, last year but don't trust the 49ers
13. Mahomes- Andy Reid QBs put up good numbers but who are the receivers for that big arm.
14. Matt Ryan- don't trust him anymore, everything would be better if he just throw the ball to Julio more or you know not throw stupid check downs
15. Mariota-does he every get through a season healthy
16. Jared I should really just hand the ball to Gurley and was a waste of a number 1 pick over a guy who partially lead a team to a superbowl.
17. Trubisky- hey bunch of high drafted qbs that could break out
18. Alex Smith- if I could remember who the WR on the team were besides J. Crowder and Dobson (took 10 minutes to think about that one) he would be higher
19. Derek Carr-how old is jordy Nelson now?
20. Case Keenum-
21. Dek Prescott
22. Andy Dalton
23. Ryan Tannehill
24. Eli Manning - lots of studs on offense but Eli can only really play 7 on 7
25. Blake Bortles

Yep those are my rankings for now. Maybe when i look at schedules things will changed

Soon my WRs and RBs will be out there too.

Pie Eating Contest

Ryan's Video: https://drive.google.com/file/d/1iUCQqGMzgXNS0SIUGGPuln9zubdjIqLn/view?usp=sharing

How to protect your burner accounts ...

The burner account has been a problem that has plagued the NBA since the early days of Kevin Durant, the Burner account. Now it claimed another snake, and hopefully  it leads to NBA Savior Sam Hinkie returning on the 3rd year to lead the 6ers to not 1, not 2, not 3 but 8 nba championships. (Mike Zarren would be a fair secondary prize just no more BC) That's not what this is about through. Today we look at how to protect your burner accounts. We all have them so here is how you don't find yourself in the next version of woodergate. 

1. Remove all your follows that are unique to you. 

The pizza place down the street yeah, don't follow that with your burner account. That is a main account follow. Even worse is people, your Father business partner who only has 6 people following him, don't be the 7, 8th and 9th.

It is okay to follow your main account if you have one unless no one else follows it, definitely do not be the first. 

2. The first nonsugested follows should be popular and unrelated to the topic you are mainly interested in:

Now twitter gives you 10 suggested follows based on your interest, follow those and then follow some generic big brand accounts. After mixing in the larger accounts you can add in the ones that are on the topic that you are interested in following. This is done to increase the difficulty in reverse engineering the accounts purpose.

3. IF you speak a foreign language don't tweet in that language

Always use 1 language in the tweets by using more than 1 language in your tweets you are increasing the things that makes the account distinct and could narrow the focus on you when the heat starts to come down. Roger that means no icelandic rap on the burner account

4. Occasionally tweet good things about the person you are trying to bring down

Sometimes you have to find a new slant and to deflect some of the potential suspicion say something like well great job adding Ibaka, for a bag of balls, and if you have to stay loyal to your brand throw in how the top two guys are still holdovers. (and seemingly headcases like their old boss)

5. Don't react to silly jokes about yourself

If for some reason people are tweeting about the large collars your shirts have do not respond with they are completely normal sized. Lean into it no one that is not that person is going to defend a stranger on a subject that is not important at all. Example not even Rich defends Trump's skin color being orange.

6. Tweet about other subjects that no one would connect with you 

If Chris had a burner account that he was using he could tweet out something positive about analytics like how you have to go back to the 2008 Phillies to find a world series winner who's front office did not have a strong analytics department.  

7. Do not let a third party have control of the account.

It may be tempting to have a 3rd party react to comments while you are making a public appearance, instead keep things closer to you and have a automatic message set to go at that time. Letting more people knows is just more holes in a sinking ship

8. If you are married do not let your wife run a burner account

Steve this one is for you and seemingly the most important take away. It doesn't matter how much experience they have in the field and know not to disclose information on the burner accounts but they are emotion people you don't want her burn to burn you. 

Now you know how to operate in a post woodergate burner twitter world. 

June 23rd draft lottery BBQ

So I hope you could all make it to 102 heather drive for the BBQ and draft order lottery. Unfortunately, I know that some of you will not be able to make it because of travel reasons or what ever bad excuse you have. Well this message is for all you people. Part of the draft lottery will be a pie eating contest used in determining the draft order. So if you cannot make it to the party you do have some work you need to do in the next 20 days. 1 get a pie; 2 please provide measurements on the pie so we can adjust the time; 3 video tape yourself eating the pie while timing yourself; 4 send us the video and any explanation on why you picked that pie and if there should be a subtraction of time based on the pie you ate. Pie eating rules are simple no hands. Good luck everyone. Hope to see everyone on the 23rd.

on to the next shop

Last week, I was sitting in my office and my phone starts to cell phone starts to ring so of course being the diligent worker I pick up the call from a number i do not recognize. What to you know it is the ice cream shop, (Name not included because I do not want out anyone laundry mat) and the owner want to come in to talk about a job. I think to myself this could be fun, or at least interesting since Rich had supplied me with a list of suggestions for my work conditions. I had some simple conditions to working there; had to pick my hours, don't care what my pay is but I want reasonable unlimited ice cream (Milkshakes and water ice) while working, and i get to pick the channel on the TV. I also wanted to put beach house on my tip jar and have a "competition" with the other workers. I get there and walk in introduce myself and he says you do you actually want a here because that application was the strangest thing anyone has ever submitted here to try and get a job. Of course, I laugh a bit and tell him I want the job a nice evening gig to compliment my day job to get that vacation home sooner. He responds: "good, I actually need somebody that I can trust to close up the shop so I don't have to be here every night at midnight." Now we move behind the counter and he tells me to make medium in a cup. I already know the machine works at an ounce per second and they have the size charts to the right of the machine (one of stupid high schooler checks it every time a group orders more than 2 sizes at a time) so I've this one in the bag no problem. Medium is 6 ounces, put the cup on the scale and boom 6.2. Next test ice cream cone with sprinkles. Do the cone and take the spoon to sprinkle the sprinkles on. Mistake, cones are a dip and twist to get a better even spread. Give that a try and the ice cream fails off. Noooooooo, too wide a base need to do it skinner and taller. This correct cone looks ugly, not sure I like were this guy is leading me. He has me scoop some ice cream just show i have the arm strength to scoop the stuff. After this we go into the back to talk about the details. Start with compensation, he offers $10 an hour plus splitting tips with the people you work with. Fine, but I tell him I want to work with the 2 college blondes and the skinny brunette, not the high school guy. (Turns out the high schooler is his soon) He laughs says he can't make any guarantees on who I work with. Now here is the hiccup, guess you could say deal breaker. A requirement for the job is you have to work at least one weekday day shift, noon to 6. Well that was never going to happen. Tell him my other job not going to let me take time off to work at an ice cream shop it nights and weekends only. Says store rule everyone has to do a day shift or no one would ever do them. Tell him we at an impasse and thank you for the time and the ice cream. I got to eat my samples earlier. Walk out and regret that I never got to ask my other stupid request. So now I am considering my other options to waste away nights during the summer. It's either go to another store or get membership at a golf course. I am leaning to the second option, there is a public course 5 minutes from the office that's not bad and a decent transition to nicer private club.

Applying for a job at the ice cream shop

Here is the application I left at the ice cream shop across the street from me today. Let me know if you think I got the job.  I copied it in since I don't know what i am doing with this blog formatting yet. (Change some parts to protect identities of my references


Dear Brain Freeze Ice Cream shop owner,

Since my earliest days in undergrad when I first had access to the soft serve ice cream machine I had a simple but elusive dream. I have gone searching around the world, from the back woods of the Ozarks, the swamps of Louisiana, the empty space of Indiana, and the mountains and hot springs of Iceland searching for the elusive ice cream cone. Sitting in my ice cream less office I had the realization that in order to find that ice cream cone I would have to venture into the field of ice cream maker and perfect my craft.

Now I acknowledge that this application is from a different type of applicant but do not worry even through I have another career that pays a more than living wage, I too will be driven to work hard for tips. Instead of trying to use my tip money for paying for college my tips will go towards buying a nice beach house and some investment properties. (if this is a multi-year thing). Another bonus is because of my other career I have already gone through all the harassment workshops so I can skip that training, as well as confidentiality. I also promise not inform any of my coworkers of any of their legal rights since that would conflict with my day job.

I have ample experience eating ice cream and creating ice cream creations. Allow me to prefect my cone making skills. Also, I have a law degree, economics degree and experience handing money including claims in excess of over $100,000 so I can be trusted with handling money.

Below please find a list of references but if your going to actually call them call the last one first and then start at the top. As you can see the last one is significantly more qualified to testify to my ice cream skills and his time is worth significantly less.

References:
Captain Al Catalya (I used his real last name just don't want this to pop up as google result)
Former (Retired) CEO of Lordes Hospital, xxx-xxx-xxxx realized I probably shouldn't publish this information online.

Swiss Guard CUA professor (same here)
Former CFO of Dragon, speech to text company, founder of seven found, Swiss guard, professor at Catholic university,

Connor Dowd (yeah don't care about his google results)
profession not important but if you see him you know he knows his ice cream just like me.

Francis P. Brennan III

102 Heather Drive, Mount Laurel, New Jersey  08054

(856)-577-7511                                                                                         Frankiebre@gmail.com

 

Education:

    Rutgers Law School, Camden, NJ

Juris Doctor Degree, May 2017

GPA 3.640

Dean’s List

Pro Bono Award for Excellent Service

Business Law Certificate

Relevant Coursework: Antitrust A, Advanced Antitrust A-, Mergers & Acquisitions A                                                                Introduction to Income Tax A+ (wink wink) 

            Activities:       Rutgers Journal of Law and Public Policy, Staff Editor                   2015/16

                                    Submissions and Symposium Editor                           May 2016-May 2017

                                    VITA Pro Bono Project                                                         Student Leader

                                    Planning Estates Pro Bono Project

             

    The Catholic University of America, Washington, DC

            Bachelor of Arts in Economics, May 2014

            Minors:           Mathematics, Philosophy   

Honors:           Magna Cum Laude

                                    University Scholar

 Finalist for Business School Student of the year 2014

Activities:       Habitat for Humanity; Teacher’s assistant for Intro to Microeconomics, Business Ethics; Tutor for Intro Micro/Macroeconomics, Intro to Accounting; Intramural Flag Football x3 Champions, Softball, Basketball

Legal Experience

GEICO Staff Counsel 

Attorney                                                                                                            Nov 2017- present   

PIP arbitration and Bodily injury litigation 

Fair Share Housing Center

Legal Intern                                                                                     May 2016-August 2016

Draft and edit litigation documents, and review settlement offers in connection with enforcement of municipality’s affordable housing obligation

    Superior Court of New Jersey, Burlington Vicinage

Judicial Intern to the Honorable Ronald E. Bookbinder A.J.S.J.    June 2015-August 2015

            Draft preliminary opinions, and research memos  

Other Work Experience

            Custodial Engineer at Resurrection Catholic School,                          Summers 2012-2015

               

Association and Memberships

            Burlington County Bar Association

            Knights of Columbus Council Number 9542, events coordinator                 (2012-2014)

Special Skills

I know how to count 100 by 1s, 5s, 10s, and 25s in any combination, can describe all the ice cream and water ice flavors and offer pairings like it is wine and cuts of meat. 

   

I'll keep everyone posted on how my application goes.